I drove to a hotdog eating contest last weekend. Despite being raised Vegan, I was pretty sure I had this contest in the bag. I arrived on-site without much of a plan, having never eaten meat in my life, and my friend said the metagame call was to eat the hot dogs as fast as possible, using one’s mouth and teeth. Good to know.
I ate one hot dog and vomited.
I’m pretty sure that the fact that I was unprepared for the contest, in that I’ve never eaten meat before, wasn’t the reason for my defeat, but rather, my loss was due to the degeneracy of hot dogs.
Anyone who eats hot dogs with their mouth is doing it wrong, as far as I’m concerned.