Demonic Tutor

Magic: the Gathering in the UK

I'm putting together a cube comprised of all the most complicated cards in the history of Magic.

So far I'm determining complexity solely by length of Oracle text.

I have a ruby program that I use to do a bunch of magic things. So for this I just asked it for:

* The 40 creatures in each color that are the most complicated.
* The 30 non-land, non-creature cards in each color that are the most complicated.
* The 30 (each) artifacts and lands that are the most complicated.

That's 384 cards (410 cards minus duplicates that show up in more than one color). It seems like a cube has a minimum of 3 x 15 x 8 = 360 cards so that's a good starting point.

There's currently no consideration of either mana fixing or mana curve. And plenty of the cards need either removing or having more support cards added (example: Higure of the Still Wind).

You can see the cards in this visual spoiler

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This is going to fail.
In a really fun/bad way....
BB2
Takklemaggot
Enchant creature

Original Rules Text:
During target creature's controller's upkeep, put a -0/-1 counter on that creature. If the creature is put into the graveyard, its controller chooses a new target creature for Takklemaggot. If there are no legal targets, Takklemaggot becomes an enchantment; during his or her upkeep, Takklemaggot deals 1 damage to the controller of the last creature Takklemaggot enchanted. Control of Takklemaggot does not change when its target changes or when it becomes an enchantment.
I figure in the worst case I'll learn something ... and no one will want to play with me ever again :)

The main problems so far are (a) complicated but utterly unplayable jank, and (b) the reminder text for things like suspend and clash is so long that a lot of those cards turn up.

But then I figure that (a) all sets have unplayable jank, and (b) all sets have particular mechanics. So maybe neither of those things is a problem. I certainly had fun with Wort, the Raidmother and conspiring multiple copies of horrendously complicated spells versus Ben on its first run-out.
Takklemaggot is genius. That one stays for sure.
Here are some more hum-dingers:

Chaos Moon
Ice Cauldron
Shahrazad
Zero
Chains of Mephistopheles
Dance of the Dead
Bureaucracy
Greater Morphling
And some more:

Merseine
Fire and Brimstone
Warp World
Wood Elemental
Last Stand
Psychic Theft
Sporogenesis
Warping Wurm
Mercadian Lift
Goblin Game
Thieves' Auction
Illicit Auction
Game of Chaos
Mana Clash
Eternal Dominion
The problems we found (Tom and I drafted this) were that:

A) Half of the cards were printed from gatherer and hence unreadable
B) It takes a LONG time to draft because you have to read all of the weird old card wording like:

"When you play X you may pay X (where X can be any amount of mana including 0) or Y where Y is equal to half the number of cards without horsemanship that you have rounded up plus X (where X can be 0) where X equals twice the number of cards with flanking you have rounded to the nearest prime number. Flip a coin if you lose the flip X is 0. If it's a tuesday afternoon and your father wears frilly underwear then do something irrevocably pointless and take X mana burn (where X can be any amount of mana including 0). "
Also, a lot of these cards have been erratered, and some even work differently than originally planned.

My next big project is to build The Sphere - which is the complete opposite to The Cube, but still coherently draftable...

Also, cheap as chips!
All unsanctioned magic is cheap as chips - you can use proxies!

We gave the cube a proper run out today with some straight up drafting and some 2HG. Some stars of the day were: Intet the Dreamer, Voice of All, Korlash Heir to Blackblade and Shard Phoenix. Kieran didn't quite manage to pull off his Angel's Grace + Amulet of Quoz combo but won the game off the Amulet anyway while staring down lethal. Next game Ross managed to steal the Amulet with Thought Dissector and returned the favor. Nice.

Best deck of the day is one of Ross and Tiff's from the 2HG. Draft the crazy shit like Iname as One and Sekki, Seasons' Guide and use the wizardcycling on Vedalken Aethermage to go get Jhoira of the Ghitu and suspend them. Cool.

Some things may have to go (Vodalian War Machine, anyone?) and some fixing is going to have to be added but overall it was good fun.
It's awful and shit and I will never play it, what convinced you to make a cube of unplayable cards?
It's not for you Rob, it's for skillful and imaginative players. Move along.
More seriously, the idea was to jam loads of complicated cards in and see if anyone can break it and/or come up with clever interactions. When your opponent wizardcycles Vedalken Aethermage EOT to get Jhoira and then use her next turn to suspend an Enigma Sphinx that they don't otherwise have the correct colors of mana to cast (anywhere in their deck) then the cube is doing it's job. Go cube!

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